I am a gym rat, through and through. I am all in for the endorphin rush, the building of muscle mass and bone density, especially at my age. And, I thrive on the competition within myself as I strive to be better, faster, stronger. Typically, I go about my workout quietly, albeit sweaty, just minding my own business. In my mind, I am keeping up with the 40-somethings at the gym…until I realized, in fact, I am not.

The realization struck me like a full force blow to the head a few months before I entered my new decade. As I was standing in the vestibule waiting for class to start, other members were being singled out for their accomplishments of finishing first in their age category for a marathon competition. Medals were placed around their necks, pictures were taken for an Instagram post, and bragging rights were theirs. Heck, I was just happy to have finished the competition.

I Cannot Keep Up with the 40-Somethings at the Gym

Then it happened. One of the medal recipients leaned over to me and quietly asked how old I was. I am not sure why. Do I look quick on my feet or older than dirt? Did she think I deserved a medal too? Hmmm…without providing a direct response, I offered that I would be aging up in a few months. Ponder that.

At this point, I was humbled to realize I was no longer keeping up with the 40-somethings at the gym. Not only could I NOT keep up with them, but the discovery that I am not one of them was hurtful. I was crushed.

Okay, that’s a bit dramatic. These fast-paced, fast-talking 40-somethings set the tone. I look forward to their energy, their enthusiasm, their conversation. But once this kind medal recipient pointed out the fact that I was nearly geriatric, all the differences became glaringly apparent.

Attempting to Keep Up with the 40-Somethings at the Gym

First, I am not a runner by any stretch of the imagination. However, a popular portion of the 60-minute workout takes place on the treadmill. Everyone clammers to get on a treadmill first, so of course I do as well because I think I am 40-something. Duh. In my mind, I thought I was keeping pace with the 40-somethings. I thought I was fast and worthy and sleek.

Wrong. They were practically lapping me. Their strides are longer, their distance further, and their breath not as exasperated as mine.

With the realization that I was in fact not keeping up with the 40-somethings at the gym, I felt foolish. Once again, I was duped by my own naivete, thinking I was someone I was not.

Other Signs of the Age Difference

The real tell-tale sign came not on the gym floor but again in the vestibule, the gathering space before class where workout strategies are established, and streaming series recommendations are exchanged. THIS. This is the place where I knew I was out of my league.

The 40-something moms were discussing and dissecting, with much anguish, HOW in the world they were going to score tickets for their daughters to see Taylor Swift. I did not even realize she was on tour, let alone that it was the biggest tour of the year. I felt their pain but I was relieved I did not have to live this nightmare. Yeah, I am not longer a 40-something mom.

I started to tune in more often, listening to discussions about trying to get to the gym on time due to dropping kids off at school (I remember those days!) to sports tryouts and school meetings and recitals and bar mitzvahs and everything else that goes with having young kids. Yes, I remember all of this like it was yesterday. But now I am the wise old sage who could offer parenting advice if I were that type of person. Instead, I am content to listen.

At this point in my saga, you may be wondering about the other age groups at the gym and if I am able to keep up with them…

The Other Age Groups at the Gym

To the 50-somethings, my kindred spirits, I was once one of you in the not-so-distant past. I think my stamina still reflects this age group, but alas, I had to leave them behind as I aged up and out.

As for the 30-somethings, I barely notice you because you are way too quick and way too young. You’ve still “got it,” so enjoy your speed and agility before the aches and pains set in.

Do not even get me started on the 20-somethings. When the college-aged coeds show up, my brain screams, “I AM OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER!” Luckily, the calm inside does not allow the words to actually be spoken. Otherwise, I give away my true identity – and my age.

There is No Defying Age

Age is a funny thing. It creeps up on you, it keeps up with you, and it never lets you go. Age defies you and defines you. It is always there in the mirror as a not-so-subtle reminder:  it is not going away.

You cannot shake it or beat it or out maneuver it. Age is a constant. Even though I have been letting it tag along for decades, Age shocked me when I suddenly realized I was not as young as I assumed or pretended to be. Yes, Age got the best of me while I was trying to keep up with the 40-somethings at the gym. Sigh.

In reality, Age is only a state of mind, and I have heard recently that 60 IS the new 40, so watch out 40-somethings. I am coming for you!

A side note to this article: I have been contemplating this notion of being obsolete at the gym for several months before I finally sat down to write the article. It may have taken on a different tone since I first visualized it in my mind last fall, but the takeaway is the same. These young folks motivate me as I continue to strive to be the best version of myself, so I thank the 40-somethings and everyone else at the gym working out alongside me. In the meantime, I ended up snagging my own cool medal (they are heavy, by the way), and was almost moved to tears when I finished my first Dri Tri event – yes, even at my age.

For more insights and outtakes on behavior and attire at the gym, read Scout’s post from last spring: How to Wear a Sports Bra to the Gym Today – scribingwithscout

And of course, my favorite workout spot, OTF! Group Fitness Class & HIIT Workouts | Orangetheory Fitness US