I have failed at several things in my life:  making the cheerleading squad in high school, playing the political game in jobs I held early in my career, my marriage, to name a few. But, I have to say, I have never felt more disappointed in myself than in my efforts to attempt Dry January this year. Epic failure. Like, barely made it out of the gate, fell flat on my face failure. I am the poster child for How to Fail at Dry January.

All it took to falter was lack of will power and several events that sent me into spiral mode. Triggers that found me undone the way Tom Cruise had Renee Zellweger at hello in Jerry Maguire. But before I explain how I failed at Dry January, let me explain how I got myself into this situation in the first place…

The Dry January Challenge

Back in December I reunited randomly – okay, it was actually not so random but via social media and eventually actual text – with some high school friends who I have known since elementary school. Yep. You heard that right. I have known these gals since I was five years old.

After a long night out of reminiscing and loud laughter, the next day it was suggested we attempt Dry January. Together yet apart since we all live in different states. Cool.

I liked this idea very much because there was accountability. I could remain anonymous in my discomfort but still abide by the rules.

In this scenario, someone was just a text or screen shot away to brag about not drinking or conversely to confess with some shame that I in fact did NOT make it through the weekend without a rich, velvety glass of Cabernet as I sat next to a warm fire. Sigh. The shame.

The Attempt and the Accountability

And so, the day after New Year’s Eve, we began.

Honestly, I needed a live phone call to start the process. It was easy – so easy – to start the year off the way it had ended. With a glass of wine while I watched TV or wrote an article or unpacked a box. I used a Lifeline and called a friend to break the pattern, the bad habit. I needed someone to talk to so my mind was occupied while she too was abstaining on the other end of the line. Gosh, I had not talked to her on the phone in 30 years but boy did her voice resonate with me that night.

I found myself staying home to avoid social situations that would require drinks. And then quickly I discovered by avoiding alcohol I WAS sleeping better, longer, deeper, yes! I did not have circles under my eyes in the morning, I was less bloated in general, and I was not spending as much money. All the things the people who pledged before me also found to be true.

It became easier. Until it wasn’t.

Falling Off the Wagon

Enter The Triggers. My emotional undoing’s.

They creep in unexpectedly, like uninvited guests, and they create havoc in an otherwise stable day.

For example, turning 60 in the middle of my attempt at Dry January did not help. It was a trainwreck I anticipated, so I divulged in advance to my childhood friends that this would be my dropping off point. They gave me a pass. The birthday festivities lasted for a few nights without too much imbibing, but truth be told, due to another unprecedented trigger the previous week, I did not even make it to my birthday without having a glass of wine.

Another friend not participating in Dry January said in complete honesty, “Gee, maybe you need to pick another month to be dry.”

When it came to breaking the pact, I was not alone. And surprisingly, I was not the first out of the group. It turned out we all have our triggers:  in-laws, work, life. Life IS hard. Drinking is easy.

We quickly amended Dry January to Dry Five, as in “Can we get through mid-week without drinking?”

It turns out, we struggled but we were honest.

A Brief History Lesson About Dry January

Pause for a brief history lesson. Dry January was first introduced in 2013, so this January marked the 10-year anniversary of the campaign. The inception itself started in January 2008 when Frank Posillico created the phenomenon by abstaining from alcohol for the month. Instantly he noted weight loss and money saved. The movement quickly caught on, and for the past ten years, people have been signing on and participating with fervor.

The results and success of the campaign have been life-changing for many, but 2023 was not the year for this writer to capitalize on such a life-altering transformation. There is always hope for next January. However, those who use the free Try Dry app and/or coaching emails are reported twice as successful as those who attempted an alcohol-free month on their own. Hmmm…food for thought for a stronger, more impactful attempt next year.

Dry January Comes to a Close

The good news is my attempt at Dry January provided me with an awareness of how habitual midweek drinking had become and how much better I felt without it. Habits are hard to break. Abstaining is possible with a little more push and effort. I can do this but with limitations, and now I know.

I admire the people who hold up their end of the bargain. For instance, my son joined me for a birthday dinner but toasted without spirits in hand. Thirty-one days felt like an eternity but if he could do it, I have hope for myself.

Next up for my lifetime friends and me? We decided to try something more attainable in February. A Book Club for Three. We are going to read the same book across state lines. As for March, we are traveling to be together to collectively celebrate our triumph into a new decade, which will inevitably involve a toast which means drinks…you get the drift. We will try to be dry in January 2024.

Here is another wintertime story from Scout as she stepped outside of her comfort zone a few years ago in her quest to attain knowledge of the written, published word: A Room Full of Strangers – scribingwithscout