This was both a difficult and awkward  piece to write simply because it is challenging to express just how conflicted, as a mother, it is to experience our children dropping back into our lives briefly only to leave again. I accept this as the natural progression, but the raw feelings still linger. I often reflect on my own mother and how she quietly dealt with this issue for years without ever making us think twice about packing our bags and leaving yet again. With this in mind, I dedicate “Crossroads” to all the mothers who will once again (sigh) have to say good-bye to their kids at the end of the holiday weekend.

This long-awaited event should be a Homecoming. Technically, it is a homecoming: a return home. But it is brief, simply not enough time to make up for all the years our children lived here previously. It is not enough time to have all the conversations needed to catch up or to do all the things you are anxious to do together or to have the opportunity to just sit and revel in the fact that they are home.

Other things get in the way.

Sleep, for one. Our offspring need sleep, and tons of it. This cuts into precious time we could spend together doing any and all the above. I try to ‘hang’ with them for as long as my eyes will stay open into the wee hours of the night; they have no ‘off switch’ and have become nocturnal creatures with habits that take them well beyond my waking hours, but I am make every effort to eke out the waning minutes of every day they are home so every valuable second is accounted for.

And now a pause for a true confession: I will sometimes open their bedroom doors in the morning to see if they are awake, only to find them still sound asleep, so instead I stare at their angelic, peaceful faces and see the little boys they once were. I can dream, can’t I?

This eagerly anticipated moment should be a fun-filled Full Nest, Stage 3 gathering. In fact, the nest is full and in full swing of Stage 3 according to the Family Life Cycle, meaning: the children are older and in college, or possibly working. While I acknowledge the nest IS full and the flock IS home and nestled in their childhood bedrooms, but briefly, and everyone realizes it. There is a bit of panic to check the boxes so nothing is missed during this short stay. But the joy of their energy and the life they bring home with them surpasses the panic, and we easily settle into the routine we have spent their lifetime making.

Still, things continue to get in the way in this search for quality time.

Food and the subsequent meals linger as an ongoing obstacle. There is the shopping for meals, prepping for meals, preparing the meals – that last all of twenty minutes – and cleaning up from these meals. Serving up whatever they are hungry for – requests are taken at least a week in advance – and every snack in between; a fully stocked refrigerator and over-flowing cabinets, full of favorites. Admittedly, the best part is the post-dinner conversation when they let you into their world, even if it is only a brief glimpse. All the shopping and chopping is worth it for this long-awaited dialogue.

This temporary gathering should serve as one of the previously mentioned euphemisms for “the boys are home.” Instead, it is a Crossroads because, let’s face it, that is exactly where we are at this point in our parental lives. Appropriately, there are two meanings, one literal and the other figurative. First, crossroads is literally defined as an intersection of two or more roads, much as we are intersecting for this brief time, for a few days of catching up before the offspring are released into their own world again. As difficult as it may be for those left behind, this is the right of passage, what we were meant to do as parents, part of our ‘job.’ It doesn’t mean that it is easy to let go or that we must like it, but nonetheless, here it is: Crossroads.

The second, more figurative meaning of crossroads is a point at which a crucial decision must be made that will have far-reaching consequences. Powerful and so true but it is exactly where we find ourselves, children and parents alike. We are faced with decisions about the future that we might not be ready to accept, decisions we thought were years away, but here we are face-to-face with the future, their future, our crossroads, and it might not include all of us in the same configuration.

Learning to deal with this conundrum of Crossroads is a challenge but one worth managing. In the meantime, yes, they are home, and I am content with this Homecoming. Yes, my ‘nest is full,’ and I am grateful. And yes, we are at a crossroads, both literally and figuratively, but we are strong, and we are ready. Enjoy the Crossroads and find comfort in knowing the kids will be back.