Tears

It’s not often that I cry. When I was younger, significant moments always generated tears: good-byes, both long and short; songs, both sweet and sad; post-party blues, both thrilling and tedious. The good-byes struck me particularly hard; long, drawn-out sobs with no-end-in-sight. Eventually, I trained myself to breathe through the hyperventilating. This technique worked so well that today, I barely shed a tear. Ironically, it’s sad that I don’t cry more often. The tears have long been bottled up.

Until last week. The tears returned, and it felt good to be able to cry again, almost as if I earned it or possibly even needed it.

On this occasion, tears streaming down my face, not long drawn out sobs but a steady flow of pent up tears that felt so free, continuous like the rain we’ve endured for the past month, so burdensome being locked-up behind closed eyelids, unleashed at last with no sign of stopping.

The cause of this waterworks display was not a short or a long good-bye, although in a sense the featured cause included one drawn-out farewell. The source of my tears was dispersed with music throughout, so that definitely lead to the mood swing, which I suppose was the intent. No party was attended although the evening contained the emotions of a gathering, both exhilarating and final, as there was most certainly an end-point.

The origin of my public display of emotions contained all the tear-jerking scenarios from younger days presented neatly in the newly released “A Star is Born” starring our almost hometown hero Bradley Cooper and the multi-talented Lady Gaga. While the build-up to the end was already a foregone conclusion, the emotional rollercoaster ride and the accompanying original music made me forget for almost 2 hours and 14 minutes that I would be sad when it was over, and with reason.

First, it is a successful movie with gorgeous, talented actors singing beautiful, theatrical songs. I was captivated for the duration, never wanting it to end because it contained the perfect formula for the inevitable conclusion where in a dark, silent theater I was permitted, actually encouraged, to take this ride and feel these emotions.

Second, it was a love story capable of competing with and possibly surpassing all those love stories that came before. So powerful was the accomplishment of the two actors who embodied their committed, larger-than-life characters, that I believed in their love. It was not soppy, or sloppy; in fact, it was so realistic that the denouement elicited the one emotion I have not been able to conjure up for many years, the ‘good cry.’

Which is exactly how I found myself in a dim theater, tears rolling down my cheeks with no stop in sight, along with several good friends and many strangers who all seemed to be sharing this moment. The theater was still. Our feelings were raw. And my tears kept flowing.

I remained one of the last in our group to leave the theater and face the brightness of the lobby, convinced I could sit there awhile longer until I was finished with the tissues. I wanted to wallow in my tears in the comfort of the theater before exposing my streaked face, to linger for a moment longer amidst the rolling credits while I wrestled with my composure.

Perplexed by this phenomenon that I deem ‘uncontrollable tears,’ I took to the internet and discovered scientists have three categories for tears: basal, reflex, and psychic tears. My movie experience falls under the category of psychic or ‘crying’ tears, per Dr. Nick Knight in his article “Why Do We Cry? The Science of Tears.” According to Knight, these are the tears induced by strong emotions, such as sadness, and, get this, psychic tears contain a natural painkiller (leucine enkephalin), giving us that ability to ‘feel better after a good cry!’ It makes so much scientific sense!

My point, however, is that it simply, well, felt good to have a ‘good cry,’ and if this is what it took to release the pent-up tears, I am thankful for this long overdue visceral experience.

My advice is to quickly get yourself to the theater and enjoy this movie on the big screen, as it was meant to be seen. And remember, there is no shame in crying, especially those psychic tears.

I leave you with Bradley and Gaga, and I dare you not to cry.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=in+the+shallow+music+video&view=detail&mid=BB85899A29EC02BD8207BB85899A29EC02BD8207&FORM=VIRE

4 comments On Tears

  • Great post! I don’t cry either- the science behind the tears is so amazing though, so I think I’ll run out and see the movie!!

  • OMG Jackie..I cry at commercials, I cry at TV shows, I cry when reading the newspaper, I cry while reading my book, when one of my children drives out of the driveway going back to wherever they now reside, I sometimes cry when the ferry hits Martha’s Vineyard….in short, I am a ridiculous, embarrassing ball of mush. So, any time you fell like you need to feel a bit better with a good cry, come on over and I will walk you through!!

  • Yes…it was a great movie. The whole audience was silent at the end….lots of people choking back tears, me included.

  • I cried many a psychic tear after that movie as well!!

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About the Author

Mother of two boys, house manager, ex-chauffeur, organizer of all things, pet proprietor.

Seeking to find my voice through the written word.

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