While we may not be ready for our kids to head back to school just yet, my heart goes out to those who are either eagerly or anxiously anticipating the start of middle school. Those formidable years when you are not a kid anymore yet you are not quite an adult either. A bit early to be considered a tweener but oh-so anxious to enter the next phase of life. While middle school is arguably one of the most challenging times in anyone’s life, I am here to explain How I Survived Middle School Three Times.

You heard that right. Not once, not twice, but an inexplicable third time’s a charm version of middle school. And it is not because I repeated a grade.

Not only did I survive, but I lived to tell and had some fun along the way…

Surviving Middle School as a Kid

I started middle school SO long ago that it was not even called middle school back then. I attended a traditional junior high school consisting of students in grades 7th – 9th. Basically, you began your junior high school career as a pre-pubescent and ended it shaving and dating. For me it was a time of discovery. With a mouthful of braces and a whole new student body to befriend, I got a fast start out of the gate.

The curriculum was fast paced: introduction to a foreign language, science experiments, PE uniforms. Everything was easy, until it wasn’t. My grades were good as long as I applied myself. However, there were a variety of distractions: sports (which team was I going to make?) and boys (which boy was going to ask me to the dance? and dances (which boy was going to try to kiss me in the corner?). We were all a sweaty mess applying deodorant and make-up simultaneously, jockeying for a key spot in the cafeteria, and vying for sleep-over invites on Fridays where we discussed make-up, who ate lunch with whom, and of course, boys.

There were mean girls and bad boys, breakups and makeups on a weekly basis. It was a new whole social stratus to contend with. Navigating junior high wasn’t easy but for me, it sure was fun, in spite of the ups and downs. I am not sure how my mother survived, though.

Surviving Middle School as a Teacher

Actually, I survived middle school so well that I eventually became a middle school teacher. Not by choice at first. There was an opening for an English teacher in the district where I was hired. Eighth grade to be exact. Friends and colleagues thought it was the worst assignment ever, but I persevered and loved it. Maybe because I survived my own awkward years it was easy for me to identify with these awkward kids. I felt their growing pains all over again.

In September they enter the classroom so innocently, on the brink of something. They just don’t realize it yet. I viewed these young students still having the energy and willingness to do fun, entertaining things in the classroom. The too-cool-for-school factor has not yet occurred to them. Part of them still wants to be a young kid, not a teenager with acne. When they leave the building in June, they are transformed both physically and emotionally.

If I stayed current with pop culture, I could converse on their terms. It was enjoyable to engage with them beyond discussing Dickens’ Great Expectations. Most kids simply want to be seen and heard. Taking the time to do that was easy. Planning lessons and grading papers was the hard part. I wish I had had more time with them, but my own future middle schoolers were born, so I retired.

Surviving Middle School as a Parent

My final exposure to middle school was probably my most painful, watching through the eyes of a mom. There is nothing like witnessing your own children go through the trials and tribulations of a very tough middle school situation. The struggle can be real. Painfully, there is not a darn thing you can do about it except be there for them. As a sounding board, a safety zone, and an experienced voice of reason.

Yes, kids are resilient, blah, blah, blah, but it is still painful to watch. How I survived middle school with my own children was not seamless, but I did – I mean we – did manage to muddle through. As with my own experience, the workload was more challenging, discerning the proper social etiquette was difficult, and finding yourself in spite of all the changes going on within and around you kept this momma on her toes.

I cannot say I was sorry to put this phase of middle school behind all of us.

Reflections on How I Survived Middle School

Middle school is probably one of the most challenging times in anyone’s life. Heck, Jeff Kinney made a milestone out of his middle school book series and movies, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Readers and viewers wince as protagonist Greg Heffley makes one painful middle school guffaw after another. We can all relate, and recall, how we learned through trial and error.

One of the most profound moments for me occurred during How I Survived Middle School as a Teacher. I had my first son during the summer months and stayed on maternity leave until Thanksgiving. About a week before I was to return to teaching, I went in to visit and reacquaint myself, baby in tow. When I walked into the building, infant in hands, I looked at all these students passing through the hallway, staring back at me. I saw them as if seeing them for the first time. They were someone’s son or daughter, just like the rest of us, trying to make the most of a day. I knew I would be a different teacher after becoming a mother. I had 125 kids to take care of now in addition to my plus one.

Fast forward to the time in our lives when our children leave us after struggling to get them through middle school and high school and college. Here is a previous post reflecting on what happens when they leave. Letting Go is Never Easy; This Time It’s for Real – scribingwithscout LLC