On the eve of my son’s birthday, I am reminded of the quiet that came before his birth. It was a calm, peaceful summer. I had nothing but time on my hands to prepare for the arrival of my first born, folding and refolding the tiny clothes I received at my showers, lining the drawers in the nursery with these itty-bitty clothes, selecting a beach-themed linen set as a nod to my favorite vacation spot, and waiting in anticipation for everything that would happen on ‘the other side’ once he was born.
I was part of a grown-up world where we did what we wanted when we wanted; there were no limits on my time, no tugging on my emotions, and no grand expectations for the future of unborn children. There was just time. And quiet.
There were mornings spent waddling through the neighborhood walking the dog as I waited for my baby’s arrival, but there was no rush, no hurry to the day. Everything was in place. He would arrive when he was ready, and I felt no panic, only peace as I anticipated becoming a mom.
Of course, there were countless nights of uncomfortable, interrupted sleep as it got closer to my due date. A co-worker pointed out that this was my body’s way of preparing me for never sleeping through the night again. At the time I resented her words; twenty-one years later, it turns out she was right. I wasn’t deterred in my anticipation but all-the-more-excited to meet this bundle of joy.
He was born on a summer day much like today; sunny but not humid, endless blue sky and serenading summer sounds of cicadas and crickets and birds, an occasional lawn mower buzzing in the distance like the bees dancing on the flowers outside my window. When I woke that morning, I was unaware that ‘today-would-be-the-day,’ but I was calmly ready. The house was still, prepared for his homecoming, everything neatly in order. Ironically, my last meal was a gelato water ice, the perfect summer treat before my real summer treat arrived.
As my water broke – no, gushed – onto the curb outside of a movie theater that night, the atmosphere was hushed, still…quiet. There was a wide-eyed stare into my husband’s face as the ‘beginning of the beginning’ realization took hold. The events were playing out as peacefully as the hazy summer evening.
I won’t lie; things did start to pick up speed on our second trip to the hospital that night. We were initially sent home because the contractions were too far apart, but on our second attempt to make the one-mile drive to the hospital, we did fly through red lights on the deserted streets in the middle of the night. Time was no longer on our side, and things weren’t as quiet anymore…
At 7:20 am tomorrow, my son will turn 21. Once again, this day offers calm and order in what is sure to be a chaotic weekend. The sounds of a quiet summer morning are slowly humming outside. The sleepiness of the house makes it difficult to get a move on the day. It’s not the number, however, that is attached to my reflection on his birthday but the joy in what that day provided for me – the opportunity to be a mom. Everything that has happened in my life since his birth has occurred fast and crazy, a world moving at lightning speed. There has been no more quiet, no more order in my world, but I would not change a thing because it has been the best ride of my life.
12 comments On The Quiet that Came Before
oh man jack, you can write so well. I feel so engaged when i read these blogs. you capture the emotion and feelings so clear. I am so happy you started this….i can relate to it. i can see the wide eyed stare into your husbands face! two questions : 1-what movie was it? 2-why does time go so fast!!?
***keep going, keep providing this insightful written inspiration,
i look forward to it!
Love this story! You brought back wonderful memories of that anticipation of being a new mom. So cute to think of baby Jimmy . Happy birthday to your sweet son . 21 years old! How can it be? Eric and jimmy were just playing tennis together . Time is speeding by . Once again you wrote a beautiful story. 😘
Excellent recap! No doubt the calm and order has disappeared but I wouldn’t change a thing either! Happy birthday jimmy – I remember the days when his birthday fell on a swim meet and you brought a big cake to the meet! Time flies. Enjoy the weekend and a very special birthday!
Oh my gosh it was so quiet before. This story, so artfully written took me back to my days before motherhood as well. I can hardly believe it was so. Wow ….Milestone 21! HBD to Jimmy!
As per usual, you move me to tears with your writing! Now I think back to the morning my water broke 5 weeks early. Hours later, my whole world was forever changed. Now I think about all the years that have rocketed by. Happy Birthday to Jimmy and congratulations to you!! XO
Love those summer birthdays…..the calm before the storm…..so well-written! Was that what you were rushing off to yesterday? Can’t believe he is 21!!!
Enjoyed reading your well-wriiten piecee on Jimmy’s
arrival.
Keep on writin’!
My son turned 22 this week. What a ride it has been… the best.
Did Steve deliver Jimmy?
The perfect gift for a perfect couple!
Beautiful & Timeless
Knocks it out of the park again—made me cry AND smile! Well done, Momma and Happy Belated to Jimmy!
Somehow I must figure out how to know when you publish these! I just read the last 3 i missed over the summer and full of emotions! This one the most! Readying myself for my oldest 21st bday in about 3 months has brought so much emotion but with focus on ‘what to do’ ‘how to celebrate’ – you helped me think of it differently! Remembering those precious moments of just before he came into our lives, yhe even more precious moments since he was born – and yes they have flown by- no one can prepare you for that! But i agree the ride has been amazing and i would change it for anything! Looking at it from what has been gained bs what has gone by/lost is the way to go! Thank you!
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Mother of two boys, house manager, ex-chauffeur, organizer of all things, pet proprietor.
Seeking to find my voice through the written word.
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